I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
