I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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