Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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