I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
