I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
one might say we're banned from that church
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
