and i looked up. we had an audience...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
