I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
