Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
