Having a random hookup so left but love u
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
