that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't think brook has ever known best
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
