Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
