fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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