You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
