OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
please come you make the beer taste better
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize