If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
