I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize