Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.

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(559): View more from California

my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.

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(530): View more from California

both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it

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(615): View more from Tennessee

At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.

Fav 6 808 2043
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(815): View more from Illinois

All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.

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(946): View more from

There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him

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