Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
