My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Apparently you make a good broom.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
