you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You can't just leave with hair like that
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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