My brain says no but my pants say off.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm like, not good at living.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize