There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
