I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize