is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
