Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
