I have demons in me.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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