i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize