Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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