her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
