That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
