So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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