some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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