Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize