I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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