we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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