singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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