what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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