The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
