they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Can I color on your dick again?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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