I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize