If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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