Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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