I have demons in me.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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