I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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