last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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