What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
