Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
