never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize