I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
