We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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