is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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