I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
