Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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