you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
