I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
