My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
