she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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