U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
