why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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