god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
