We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
