dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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